I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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