No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
sarcasm needs its own font
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
