dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
