At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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