like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize