i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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