Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
