My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
