so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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