Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
