Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
