All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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