I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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