margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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