I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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