i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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