you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
