some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
