dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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