seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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