It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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