I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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