The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
