i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
