I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
