I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
