yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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