I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
