Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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