What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
