Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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