she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
