you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
