Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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