Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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