Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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