This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
