Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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