paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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