I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I believe in your delicious
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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