I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
