Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
