Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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