i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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