I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
