i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
