Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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