You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
