I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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