I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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