Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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