ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
