I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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